I’m an inveterate OBO’er (OBO, of course, standing for “Or Better Offer”) - so much so that certain people in my life call me “OBO” as a nickname.  It is not a compliment.

I think this New Years it’s finally catching up to me.

Had I made a decision, I could have gone to Aruba with CD.  I could have gone to a party in Chicago with Elly & Rachel.  I could have gone to St. Barts with Matt.  I could have gone to Westport with [redacted].  I could have gone to SF to see Meghan.

But. I didn’t.

With just a few hours left in the year, I still have options … I could go with Judy to a party.  I could go with Krystal to a party.  I could go with Cristina to a party.  I could go with Caroline to a party.

And I still can’t decide.

Maybe it’s because none of those - except standing in Times Square, by myself, as the ball drops - feels quite right.

I tend to wait and wait and wait until the last minute, because I’m convinced that something better will come along (um, eerie parallels with my dating life, as well).  And then, as I look back over my discarded options, I think, “Hey, none of those would have been a disappointment.  In fact, ALL of them are pretty great.  And they’re definitely preferable to what I ended up doing.”

My dad described my parents’ New Years plans to me just now, and I realized that - *holy shit* - they’re having an exponentially cooler New Years than I am.  How did THAT happen??  So he said to me, “While you’re waiting for your better offer - you allow life to pass you by. You end up with a big parade that you’re watching by yourself.”

Ouch.  But he’s not wrong.

And so, in 2008, one of my resolutions is to say goodbye to OBO’ing.  To close the door on the constant anxiety of wishing I were somewhere else, being even more fabulous, wondering whatif-whatif-whatif-whatif, wishing I had taken a different path, whether that’s a trip or a party or an outfit or a job or a man.

I want to make a decision about what I’ll do, and then be content in the moment - whatever that moment might be, secure in the knowledge that it’s the right place, because I chose it.

And so I feel as if I want to make a statement this New Years.  Whether that means wandering around the city from party to party or just staying here in my little apartment until 11 pm, then hiking out to Times Square, I’m not sure.

But for once in my life, I’m going to just go with the flow and not worry about it.  No matter what happens, I promised myself I’ll feel the joy of a new year - even if I’m surrounded by strangers in enormous parkas in the middle of the craziest city in the world.