![You: Julia, should I wear my sexy librarian glasses on-air?Me: No.You: But Tina Fey …Me: No.You: But Ashleigh Banfield …Me: No.You: But … [can’t think of anyone else]Me: Exactly.You: Oh.Me: Tina Fey has cheekbones that could saw off your cock, were you to have one.You: What does that even mean?Me: By wearing glasses, she’s tricked you into thinking she’s average so you won’t realize she’s actually much, much prettier than you’ll ever be and could surely steal your boyfriend or husband if she merely snorted, frame-less, in his direction. Thus the glasses serve as a chastity belt for the face, which conveniently ensures you don’t spend your free time blogging “Tyna FEY iz a derty SLUT! fuk tht HO! she sux ballz.” In fact, Tina Fey and Ashleigh Banfield are two of the eight women in the universe who can just barely get away with that look on tv - and the other six display panties for a living.You: This is so unfair.Me: Tell that to America Ferrera.](http://30.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLig73ughdb8YgcpwWo1_400.png)
You: Julia, should I wear my sexy librarian glasses on-air?
Me: No.
You: But Tina Fey …
Me: No.
You: But Ashleigh Banfield …
Me: No.
You: But … [can’t think of anyone else]
Me: Exactly.
You: Oh.
Me: Tina Fey has cheekbones that could saw off your cock, were you to have one.
You: What does that even mean?
Me: By wearing glasses, she’s tricked you into thinking she’s average so you won’t realize she’s actually much, much prettier than you’ll ever be and could surely steal your boyfriend or husband if she merely snorted, frame-less, in his direction. Thus the glasses serve as a chastity belt for the face, which conveniently ensures you don’t spend your free time blogging “Tyna FEY iz a derty SLUT! fuk tht HO! she sux ballz.” In fact, Tina Fey and Ashleigh Banfield are two of the eight women in the universe who can just barely get away with that look on tv - and the other six display panties for a living.
You: This is so unfair.
Me: Tell that to America Ferrera.
