This just happened.

Ring Ring. (Number I don’t know. I usually won’t answer a call like that, but I’ve been trying to schedule a dancer photoshoot, so I thought it might be the PR rep from [redacted ballet company]. I answer.)

Me: Hello?

Guy’s Voice: Hello?

Me: Hello?

Guy: Hi.

Me: Um. Hi?

Guy: It’s [redacted].

Me [no clue who this is]: Uhh …

Guy: [redacted]!!!

Me [still no clue]: Um?

Guy: From your launch party! Meghan’s friend!

Me [finally a recollection. Also remembers that he’s not at all Meghan’s friend, but a guy who hit on Meghan and touched her hair and weirded her out.]: Okay.

Guy: What’s going on?

Me: Um … I’m working?

Guy: That sucks.

Me: Huh?? [Patience wearing thin.] CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?

Guy: Oh. Yeah … well, you know, I wanted to set you up with someone!

Me: Uh-huh.

Guy: Except I decided I want you for myself!

Me: [oh wow. awkward. really awkward.] Umm … ohhh … uhhh …

Guy: Don’t worry, I didn’t fool around with Meghan.

Me: [thinking: this conversation has lasted 90 seconds, which is 89 seconds longer than it should have.] Yeah, you know, I don’t really think now is a good time for me.

Guy: Really? Want to call me next week?

Me: [thinking: no.] Um … I’m going to London? And then …

Guy: Okay so call me when you’re back!

Me: Um … actually, I don’t really like the phone. Or calling people! So … maybe I’ll just talk to you later!

Guy: Okay, so I’ll call you!

Me: You know, I’m really … I don’t think this is … I have to go work now!

Guy: I’ll be in touch!

Me: [thinking: I hope not!] Um … okay. Maybe don’t call though. You can email me. [thinking: I will delete it.]

Guy: Okay, definitely!! Talk to you soon!!

Me: [Sigh.]