So I’m sitting in my hotel room at the Hilton here in Austin, working on my column for this week (on SXSW, of course), and my speech for tomorrow, entitled “Social Media or Sado-Masochism: Cyberbullying and Celebrity 2.0.” Don’t even ask me how long it took to come up with that title - or how many permutations I explored. (Hint: a truly pathetic amount of time - and a LOT.)
One of the things I’ve done, to ready for the speech, is revisit my hate site, which I avoid reading, for reasons that are nothing if not obvious. I didn’t delve into the comments, but I glanced at the last few posts, all of which managed to be both crazy AND obsessed, as well as plain old mean.
So I suppose I would ask you haters, since I know you wait with bated breath for my every post, tweet and Facebook photo: Um … why do you care? Why do you continue the harassment? And don’t flatter yourselves: it IS harassment.
When you email my father, my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriends, my editors at Tribune Media Service, my producers at NBC, when you leave comments on every single article I’ve ever written (“It’s a black mark on your paper that you’ve decided to publish her work”), when you create anonymous gmails to begin twitter accounts to tweet me things like “WHOA. Saw pics of u when u worked on the Hill. Homely would be an understatement. I now get why u wear 5lbs of makeup.” and “You’re a mooching slug. Btw, is your father gay? He’s got to be gay.” and WHEN YOU DO IT ALL ANONYMOUSLY - that is harassment. How do you justify that behavior to yourselves?
Do you believe that you are righting a wrong? That you are the vigilante enacting internet justice? That I don’t deserve the life that I have and it is your duty to make sure that you destroy it as best you can? Do you believe that the eight or so examples of me being a dick over the past few years justifies 5-6 posts a day about every … single … thing I write, tweet, photograph or post? Does it excuse you lying about me (and yes, you have lied, many, MANY times)? Do you believe it means that it is now “fair game” to insult me on a daily basis?
And if this is the case (although I don’t think it is) - that anyone who chooses to have an online presence, be that blog, twitter, facebook or other means - “brings it on themselves” - does that mean you believe that you can say whatever you like - no matter how cruel or denigrating or patently false - about EVERY SINGLE PERSON who chooses to have a presence online? Do you realize how many people that includes? How would you feel if your loved one - or YOU - were getting this sort of treatment?
Do you actually think that hiding behind “free speech” means it’s okay to endlessly harass someone - anyone?? When is enough, enough?
AND IF YOU DO - if you TRULY believe that your behavior is warranted - WHY DO YOU DO IT ANONYMOUSLY?
I would challenge any of the writers on my hate site, or anyone who has commented, to send me an email answering these questions. Or better yet, come out of hiding. Admit who you are and why you do what you do. Self-reflect. Does it make you feel better about yourself, to tear me down? Is it fun to band together and scapegoat someone whom you have probably never met - but nonetheless have decided to hate?
I would contend that you will never - EVER - change your opinion of me, no matter what I do. You have decided you know who I am, and you will stick with that. But how long will you remain in the shadows, deriving pleasure by hurting someone else?
