Erin just posted this photo on Facebook, of me and my little brother after New Years last week.
It might end up being my favorite photo of the evening, because it encompasses what I value most now in life: family, friends, love … spending time with the people you care about.
It’s hard to write that and not sound … hmmm … how shall I put it? (Thinking of terms, all of them inappropriate) Like a bit of a Pollyanna. Family values? That’s sort of … boring. Doesn’t everyone love their family? Their friends?
Well, we certainly all say we do. But what do we MEAN by that? Are we good friends, good daughters, good sisters? Do we spend time with them? Do we come through when they really need us?
I try, but I can’t say that I always have.
It wasn’t that long ago when I felt strongly Career should be #1, 2 & 3 on my priority list. But I suppose there comes a time in our lives when that just changes. For me, that moment came this summer. I had a date - a guy who I had known for years, who was fun, great, lovely, etc - but I just thought, “You know, I don’t want to spend a lot of time with anyone I don’t love anymore.” There’s a time in your life for that, and then there’s a time for (I shudder to use this cliche) settling down. Don’t get all riled up. I’m not talking about marriage. (Well, yet.) I’m just talking about valuing the people we love by actually - I don’t know - spending time with them??
Then, last Tuesday my grandmother and I were at the pancake house for one of our three hour long epic-conversations-disguised-as-meals, when my father called. He was on his way home from work and needed to be picked up from the train. I negotiated back and forth with him, trying to buy more time to run a few errands, then finally agreed and hung up the phone. My Grandmother was staring out into the distance with these huge yearning eyes, and said simply, “What I wouldn’t give to be able to pick up my father from the train. Just to talk with him for even 10 or 15 minutes.”
That just floored me.
The holidays are over, you’re all home, back to workworkworkworkwork. That’s lovely. But please don’t forget about the things that really matter - and people comprise pretty much all of them.
One of my resolutions in 2010 is to continue to appreciate the people I love around me, to make more time for family and love and friends who are much like family (I consider Meghan, Megan, Jordan, CD, and Randi to be like sisters). One evening, one dinner, one conversation with them is worth far more than a party, event, book signing or whatever nonsense get together I used to find Very Very Important a few years ago.
I’m not saying abandon your career, abandon your ambitions. I’m just pointing out that it’s moments like the one above - hugging my brother - that I’ll be glad I made time for, and not moments like getting the 80th business card at some conference.
This sentiment might be often repeated, but in my mind, it’s never repeated often enough.
