You know what was awesome? When I had this blog a la single on the side. And I apparently shared too much. TMI for any guy. “No one will want to date you when you have a blog like this.” It went like this: even if you find someone open minded enough, who really doesn’t care what you write, he’ll care if his friends find it. If his parents find it. He’ll be embarrassed of you. Either shut it down, or just stop already.

So let me get this straight. Stop writing honestly about my single life in case some guy (whom I haven’t even met yet) has a problem with it? Because it’s a real turn off. Because men like a chase. Because people can google this forever. Because women should preserve a veil of mystery. Stop doing everything you’re driven to do, and then you’ll find someone. Mmm, yeah. Great advice.

Surprisingly, not everyone is turned off by how a woman they’ll possibly some day marry writes … And the best part is, in being who you are, you meet other people who care only about that: who you really are. They don’t care what you look like on paper, what their buddies think, or if you’ll fit into his family dynamic. You attract people who are enchanted with the real you. And there’s nothing sweeter than being rewarded for what you already love to do. For just being you. All needy, psycho, and shit.

Wow!! Stephanie has done this far, far longer than I have, and she puts a *lot* more out there (I don’t know if you’ve noticed, I don’t write much about sex. Then again, I’m not having any sex, so … anyway, even if I were, I wouldn’t be writing about it. Not because I don’t think it’s “appropriate,” it’s just not my thing.)

As much as this resonates with me specifically, I actually think Stephanie’s advice can translate to people who don’t even have a Facebook profile. By that I mean, on the most basic level, you have to be honest about who you really are, and believe that someone will love you for that.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, if who you really are is a douchebag, no one is required to love you (although I think life has plenty of examples of douchebags finding love at the same rate as nice, normal people. sigh.), but most of us are just your average (flawed) human beings. And the odds are, SOMEONE out there will find us captivating.

But if we market ourselves as something we’re not - in my case, for example, as a reticent, quiet wallflower who always makes the “appropriate” choices, who never struggles with any confusion, who enjoys the color brown - I would find someone who loved that, and not me.

When we fall into this trap, we start to believe that we’re not good enough to be loved for who we are, but the truth is, we’re not good enough to be loved for who we pretend to be.

Anyway, that’s a long way of saying I’m going to continue to put myself out there, because that is who I am. And you can like it, or not, it really doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me - because if you don’t like it, I wouldn’t want you around anyway, you know??

:)