So, I just sent the adorable girlfriend of one of my exes a facebook message (we’ve talked many times before, so it wasn’t a first time thing) congratulating them on moving in together.  When I reread the note, I realized it was a bit … well … “overly nice.”  I mean, why would I be so happy they moved in together? (He did, after all, dump me for her.)  But actually?  I was.  I meant every word.

I sat there and thought about it for a bit, trying to figure out why I wasn’t just cool with it, but actively excited.  It pretty much came down to this: I think she’s pretty amazing (not to mention tiny and cute), I think he’s pretty amazing, and I also think - by the transitive property, and also by the property of I’ve-hung-out-with-them-as-a-couple - they’re pretty amazing together.  They make each other happy.  And I love that!  (Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t love it a year ago, but I definitely do now.)

In fact, when he told me they were moving in together, I actually squealed with joy.  I really like to see good people in love and coupling up and … (yes!) getting married.  And (perhaps the most important point) she’s been really sweet to me - so I felt the same way I would if a girl friend of mine were moving in with her bf.  Really, hysterically enthusiastic.

I pretty much said as much in the quasi over-the-top nice FB message.  Which got me thinking, “God, I hope she doesn’t think I’m being fake.  Maybe I should tone this down a bit?”  Obsequious isn’t a good look.

And then I realized this:

Fuck that!  I *LIKE* being nice.

It made me feel GOOD to write those things to her.  It made me happy to send that message and it makes me happy thinking that she’ll be happy reading it.

I wonder why people don’t do more things like this?  Tonight, a guy friend of mine, knowing I’ve had a hard week month, drove into the city, took me to dinner, and gave me the most beautiful present.  It was so thoughtful, so kind, and so unexpected, I almost cried.

This world is filled with a lot of crap and quite a bit of disappointment, much of which we have no control over.  But we can control how we treat other people, and if we treat them with kindness, if we share their joy, if we genuinely wish them well and very much want the best for them - well, I’ve found it’s fairly contagious.  I was actually happier after telling her that I was happy for her happiness! Crazy, right?

Try it.  You’ll see …