An ACTUAL email I received today. Dear god.

Hi Julia,

I saw and read about you in timout new york and you are a nice looking woman and look smart too, also a good writer. I’m a copywriter and also do marketing, I now do
marketing for [redacted]

please tell me more about yourself. also you are very goodlooking.

my female friends call me muscles

victor

——-

If you are EVER tempted to include in an email that ANYONE calls you MUSCLES, please, do yourself a favor and pour gatorade all over your laptop instead.

CHRIST.